Becoming a parent is one of life’s greatest joys, but for Sarah, it also brought sadness. She had to face the challenges of being a new mom and the betrayal of her husband. In a heartfelt letter, she talks about feeling abandoned when she needed him the most. Now, she asks for advice on how to deal with the strain on her marriage.

She starts by explaining her thoughts on motherhood: “My husband and I have been together for eight years, and for five of those, we tried to have children. I wasn’t too upset about not having kids because I knew how much time, money, and effort it takes to raise them. For me, having a child would mean putting my life and career on hold. So, I was okay with the idea that if it didn’t happen, it wouldn’t be a big deal for me. But for my husband, it was very hard.”

Sarah was completely surprised by her husband’s actions since he had wanted kids for so long.

“He often talked about how much he wanted children, how he would help with everything—feeding the baby, getting up at night, taking walks. His promise to share the responsibilities kept me trying again and again, even after failed pregnancies. Then, a real miracle happened—we had our first baby. But having our son has become a big challenge for our marriage.”

After years of trying, we finally had our first baby. Since our son was born, I have been filled with joy. My days were all about caring for him—feeding, changing diapers, and keeping the house in order. Sleep was rare, but every moment with our baby made me feel thankful.

But I could tell my husband was having a hard time adjusting. The sleepless nights, the constant crying, and the new responsibilities were too much for him. He felt distant, like he wasn’t really there. He always found reasons not to help with the baby, and it seemed like his mind was somewhere else, struggling with the challenges of being a new dad.

The first days were tough with the baby crying all the time. One day, completely exhausted from no sleep, I saw my husband packing his bags. He said, “I need a break from all this chaos. I’m going to stay at Jake’s for a few weeks. When I come back, you better have fixed this.” I could see he was tired, but I was too drained to say anything. I just watched in disbelief as he packed and left to stay with his friend from work.

I felt completely abandoned and alone. Here I was, a new mom, struggling through sleepless nights and taking care of our baby non-stop, while James went to escape it all. I cried for hours, holding our son, feeling the pressure of everything on me. After all the promises he made to support me, I couldn’t believe he left us at such an important time. But as I cried, I realized something: I had to show James what being a family really means.

For the next few weeks, I did everything by myself—soothing our baby, figuring out his schedule, managing the house, and squeezing in work when I could. It was tiring, but with each day, I felt myself getting stronger. I realized I didn’t need James as much as I thought. I didn’t need anyone to fix things for me because, even though I was tired, I was making it on my own.

Whenever James called to check in, he sounded more distant, like he wasn’t really part of our life anymore. He asked about our son, but never about how I was doing. It hit me—maybe he wasn’t ready for the responsibility he promised. Maybe he never would be.

When he came home after almost three weeks, he just said, “I’m back,” like nothing had happened. I stood there holding our baby, who was sleeping in my arms. There was no big argument or yelling. I just looked at him and said, “You left me when I needed you the most.” He tried to explain how overwhelmed he was and how he just needed space, but his words felt like excuses. I wasn’t the same woman waiting for him to rescue me anymore.

I told him, calmly but firmly, that while he was gone, I realized something: I wasn’t going to wait for him to be the partner he promised to be. I had been handling everything alone, and I knew I could keep doing it if I had to. I loved him, but I wasn’t going to carry all the weight of our family while he ran away every time things got hard.

Sarah ended her letter saying, “James was shocked by how I reacted. I know he wanted this child and promised to be a hands-on dad. But when the time came, it was clear he wasn’t ready. So, I made the hard decision to step away for a while. He promised he would change and get more involved, but it was too late for me.”

Everyone—my parents, his parents, even our friends—were surprised by my decision. They all told me to give him more time, to understand that fatherhood takes time to adjust to. But why didn’t I get that same understanding? Why was I expected to adjust to motherhood right away, with no hesitation? That’s when I realized I didn’t need another child in the form of a grown man.

Do you think I made the right choice, or should I give my husband another chance?