Many couples want their wedding to reflect their lifestyle and beliefs. But sometimes, this can clash with family traditions. This is what’s happening to this couple.
The bride explained:
My fiancé and I (both in our 30s) are getting married in a couple of months. We need to finalize our menu for the guests. We are vegetarians. Generally, we are pretty relaxed about it.
When we go out, we don’t mind if our friends or family eat meat or fish, and if we visit family, we’re happy as long as there is a vegetarian option. Now, about the wedding.
Since it’s our special day, we thought it would be nice to have a fully vegetarian menu. My parents are paying for the meal and are very upset about this choice. They say it’s disrespectful to people who aren’t vegetarians and that it’s forcing our ethics on others. They also think it’s disrespectful to our values of making sure our friends have a good time.
They believe people expect “luxury food” at a wedding, especially if they’re traveling from abroad, and that this should include meat. I feel torn.
Personally, I don’t mind if our guests eat meat, but it doesn’t fit with our lifestyle, and it’s our special day, so it might feel inauthentic. My fiancé agrees, but since my parents are paying for the meal, it’s a tough situation. Will I be wrong if I serve only vegetarian food?
People stood on her side.
- “Omnivores have all eaten plenty of vegetarian and even vegan meals without intending to. It does not seem like it’s pushing anything on anyone, any more than ANY other food choice would be. If you offered chicken, would you be ’pushing chicken onto people’?
Your parents may decide not to pay for the meal, and that’s their prerogative. But it’s your day, and this is a very reasonable choice to make. This way, you can try or sample all the food on the menu and not be excluded from your own celebration.”
- “If you really want to have everything exactly your way, then pay for the entire wedding yourself, and that way your parents can’t be blamed.”
- “People can go ONE MEAL without eating meat! My wife and I are of your parent’s generation, and your idea sounds delicious! Luxury food? What’s not luxury about Eggplant parm, veggie quiche, half of any given Indian menu, stuffed peppers, guacamole, moussaka, asparagus risotto, shakshuka, mushroom wellington, tortellini with alfredo sauce, or stuffed manicotti?”
