In a recent viral story, a man shared that he stopped his wife’s late husband’s parents from visiting their daughter after hearing weeks of hurtful comments. The man, who married a widow, first tried to keep a good relationship with his wife’s ex in-laws for their daughter’s sake, but their negative remarks became too much.
I have been married to my wife for about two years, and we had our daughter a year ago. My wife was married before when she was quite young, but her husband passed away. I knew about this and was okay with it—until now.
My wife is still close to her late husband’s parents, and they were excited when our daughter was born. They only had one child, their son, and no other kids.
They come to our house about once a week. At first, it was okay, but now it feels overwhelming. They visit us more than my parents or my wife’s parents, and they even stay overnight, which I wouldn’t like even if they were my own parents.
They also talk a lot about their late son, which was fine at first, but some of their comments make me uncomfortable. They even said our daughter looks a bit like him, and his mom once said, “Oh, if she’s this cute, imagine how cute your kids would have been, if only…” when talking to my wife. She stopped herself, but I heard it.
I want to be kind, and I knew moments like this would happen, but it’s starting to make me feel uncomfortable. Would I be wrong to tell my wife’s late husband’s parents to stop coming to see our daughter?
People in the comments were on his side.
- They are clinging to you guys in the wake of losing their son, but there needs to be boundaries in place. It begins with a conversation with your wife and working in unison.
- His parents clearly need grief counseling. They’re entitled to feel how they feel, and my heart just aches for them, but they are not related to this little girl, and they clearly are struggling with their pain and loss. Access to this child is not healthy for anyone.
- When they mention their son and how his kids would have looked, they are crossing a line. You have a bigger problem with your wife, she should be shutting them down. They can be bonus grandparents, only if they respect you as the father of your child.
- It’s not appropriate. They feel like they have missed out on the experience of their son having children and getting to enjoy grandchildren. I’m sure they love your wife and cling to her as a part of what is left from their son. The parents of the dead husband need therapy, and they need to let your wife move on and be with her
