A 35-year-old woman wrote a worried letter to us. She didn’t know how to deal with the fact that her husband is being very mean. She said he always makes comments about her body odor, which has affected her mental health. But when she found out more about his behavior, she became really angry.
The woman, named Lilly, shared her desperate situation. She said she has been happily married to her husband, George, for over ten years and has never seen him disrespect her before. Lilly said their marriage was based on love, passion, respect, and trust. She thought they had a perfect relationship, and George was always caring.
However, Lilly had a difficult relationship with her mother-in-law (MIL). She wrote that her MIL is bossy and thinks her opinion is the only one that matters. Lilly tried to be polite to her but didn’t see her often since she lived in another country. She accepted that her MIL would never be like a second mother to her.
About a year ago, Lilly noticed that George’s behavior changed. He started making rude comments about her smell. She was confused because her health and lifestyle hadn’t changed. Every day, he would tell her she smelled bad.
Lilly remembered that when they first met, she took daily showers, used deodorant, and brushed her teeth three times a day. Nothing had changed in her hygiene, yet George kept making nasty comments.
Lilly became so worried about her smell that she started showering three times a day, applying strong deodorant every hour (she even set reminders on her phone), using perfume, and brushing her teeth five times a day.
Hearing that you smell bad can be very hurtful, especially if it comes from someone you care about. Lilly felt upset by George’s behavior. She said, “I felt like I was going crazy. I was sure I didn’t smell bad during our relationship, but clearly, he thought I did. I even checked with a doctor, and he said there was nothing wrong.”
Lilly became so concerned that she asked friends and family to smell her armpits and tell her the truth. They all said she didn’t smell bad at all, and one even said she smelled too clean!
One day, Lilly found out the truth behind her husband’s strange behavior. By then, she was very paranoid and wouldn’t even hug or kiss George when he said she smelled bad.
One morning, Lilly went for a walk while George stayed at home. She said, “I told George I’d be back in about three hours. I was thinking of visiting my sister and wanted some fresh air, but suddenly I didn’t feel well. I decided to go back home and rest, so I returned about 30 minutes after I left. George didn’t expect me to be back yet.”
Lilly continued, “Since I felt bad, I came into the house quietly, trying not to make noise with my keys. I had a terrible headache, and every sound hurt. George didn’t hear me come in because he was on a video call with his mom.” Lilly noticed that they were talking loudly and seemed to be arguing. She felt irritated by the noise and wanted to ask him to use his headphones, but then she realized they were talking about her.
Lilly wrote, “George was telling his mom that he was tired of this ‘smelly game.’ He sounded stressed and said that because of his comments about my body odor, we stopped being intimate, and I wouldn’t even kiss him anymore. His mom told him to be patient if he wanted to keep me around. She revealed that George’s dad used to say similar things to her, and it worked to keep a woman from leaving. She believed that if a woman felt low, she wouldn’t cheat, would stay devoted, and would always try to be clean.”
So, Lilly’s mother-in-law was teaching George how to keep Lilly with him, sharing the nasty method his dad used on her. Lilly found this disgusting and was angry that George would try this trick on her. She said, “George doesn’t know that I know everything now. I want a divorce, but I also want revenge before I leave him. I know many people might not think his actions are serious enough for divorce, but I can’t imagine spending my life with someone who uses these ‘smelly methods’ on a woman who loves him completely.
