When we get married, we think our partner will always love us. Our feelings seem like they’ll last forever, and the bond with our spouse seems unbreakable. But today’s story is about a man who realized he stopped loving his wife—not because she cheated or did something bad, but because she went on a vacation without him.
A 32-year-old man named Peter wrote to us, asking for advice. He explained, “I’ve been married to my wife, Helen, for 4 years, and we’ve been together for 9 years. She’s a stay-at-home mom. We have 1.5-year-old twins, and taking care of them has been exhausting for her.
One day, Helen said she wanted a solo vacation for a few weeks. She wanted to travel, visit friends, see shows, and have fun. I understood and agreed, but I asked if she could make the trip shorter because 7 weeks of taking care of our kids alone sounded scary, especially since I also had to work. I work from home, so that helped a little.”
Peter continued, “After talking about it for a few days, I agreed she deserved a 7-week break because of how hard things had been for her.”
Taking care of the kids alone was hard for Peter. He shared, “The first week was really tough, and I felt like I was losing my mind. But I got through it. I asked my older sister to help from the second week. She was a lifesaver, and I’m so thankful. After she video-called me during the first week and saw how stressed I was, she came to help.”
Peter had mixed feelings. “From the second week, my sister stayed with me and helped a lot with the kids. It was a huge relief, and I could focus on my work. To be honest, I didn’t miss Helen at all. I felt emotionally and mentally relaxed. I had fun with my kids and sister. But I also felt hurt that my wife left for 7 weeks. Slowly, I started falling out of love with her.
Peter continued his story, saying, “Helen called me many times during her vacation and gave me a lot of advice about the kids. But it felt wrong, especially when I saw her Instagram posts with happy selfies at parties, concerts, and eating out with friends. Her life looked so different from mine.”
When Helen finally came home, Peter acted like a stranger. He confessed, “When Helen came back after 7 weeks, she was full of energy, but I was tired and didn’t care. She tried to hug and kiss me, but I pushed her away and said I wasn’t feeling it. I kept being distant, and she probably noticed but didn’t say anything.”
Things got worse after a while. Peter shared, “Two weeks later, Helen asked me why I was acting like this. I told her I didn’t love her anymore. She said sorry over and over for taking the long vacation and asked if she could do anything to fix things. I told her no. For the next few weeks, things were really tense until I decided I wanted a divorce.”
Peter wrote, “My wife was heartbroken when I mentioned divorce. Her reaction surprised me because I had already told her I didn’t love her anymore. She tried to get us to go to therapy or counseling, but I had already started looking for a divorce lawyer. I didn’t think anything could save our marriage.”
Peter added, “I thought a lot about it, and I’m still sure I want a divorce. I don’t love my wife anymore, and I don’t believe I can love her again. I don’t think therapy can fix this.”
Peter ended his letter, saying, “I want to make one thing clear. Money wasn’t the problem. I have a good, though stressful, job. I didn’t care how much money Helen spent on her trip. The real problem was that I was mentally overwhelmed taking care of two little kids while also working full-time. By the end of the first week, I was losing it and even cried when my sister called me. Helen knew I was struggling, but she never thought to cancel her vacation and come home to help me during this hard time.
